The day after my 16th birthday, I got on a plane by myself, headed from Baltimore to Phoenix. At the time, there weren’t any direct flights from BWI to PHX, so we were flying through Philadelphia or Columbus or somewhere. There were at least 20 passengers and three flight attendants on the flight who were also going to Phoenix, so when our flight was delayed out of Baltimore, I wasn’t that worried.

Shortly before the plane landed, one of the flight attendants assured me that our connecting flight was just a few feet away from our landing gate, and that it was waiting for us. Then we landed, we were shuttled onto a plane… and realized in the air that we were flying to Las Vegas.

I was stuck in Sin City for nine hours — longer than it takes to drive to Phoenix — before I finally made it to Arizona. It wasn’t the first time in my life that I was at the mercy of an airline, and it certainly wasn’t the last.

For Thanksgiving, Toby and I flew to Cincinnati to visit his family, and the flights were a nightmare. We arrived on time, only to sit on the runway (within sight of the gate and several other unused gates) for 45 minutes while they let a different plane unload… then, when we finally got to baggage claim, Toby’s suitcase didn’t arrive. On the way back to California, our flight was delayed and we sat on the runway again, just long enough to miss our flight out of Dallas. We ended up stuck in a Super 8 on Sunday night and didn’t make it home until mid-afternoon Monday.

But the experience made me realize that the things I’ve learned from my travel disasters could help y’all! And so, here are some things I’ve learned:

1. Get there early, no matter how small the airport is. Running all the way from security to the E gates in Atlanta and bursting into tears on the tram is not fun, but it is somehow worse when, after standing in line for 10 minutes, you’re told you can’t check in to the plane that’s less than 100 yards from where you’re standing because it’s one minute past the cut-off time.

2. Always pack a toothbrush, a contact case (if you wear contacts) and at least a partial change of clothes — especially if you have a connection. If your bag doesn’t arrive when you do, there’s no telling how long it will take it to get there. And if you’re stranded, even if the airline puts you up in a hotel overnight, they won’t let you have your bag.

3. If your bag isn’t on the carousel with everyone else’s: Go to the airline’s baggage counter. It could be that your bag has arrived before you do. And if it’s not there, you have to file a report with the airline. They should be able to figure out where it is and when it might get to your location (or at least give you a phone number to call to check on it). Usually, the airline will deliver the bag to your hotel or house once it arrives, but it may be faster to pick it up yourself. Hang on to your baggage claim ticket, and if you’re traveling to a country where you don’t speak the language, you may want to keep a photo of your bag on your phone. I helped some non-English-speaking Italian girls file a missing bag report in Las Vegas earlier this year, and the description of the bag was hardest part.

4. If you’re delayed, miss a connection or have your flight canceled, ask for everything you can think of… but don’t expect too much. If your flight delay or cancellation is caused by a weather issue — even if it’s only partially due to the weather — the airline won’t give you anything at all. If it’s 100% their fault, such as a maintenance issue, they will put you up in a hotel, but it is likely to be the cheapest, grossest hotel imaginable. They also are supposed to give you food vouchers (which aren’t enough to cover food at the airport), but you may have to ask. And even if you end up having to rent a car and drive to your final destination, they won’t let you have your bag anywhere other than the airport it was checked to… and they won’t pay for your rental car.

5. Be prepared. If you haven’t been to an airport in the last 15 years, or you’re traveling with a baby or medical device or something for the first time, do some research before you go. You can’t carry lots of liquids through security, and if the liquids you have are larger than 3 ounces each and not all contained in a single plastic zip-top bag, the TSA will throw them away. That’s not a big deal if we’re just talking about a nearly empty bottle of water, but I doubt you want to have to toss your shampoo, conditioner, lotion, toothpaste, hair products and makeup. You’ll also have to take off your jacket and shoes, take everything out of your pockets (even paper), and take your laptop out of your suitcase at security (iPads and tablets can stay in your bag in the US, but have to be taken out in London), so don’t bury that stuff at the bottom of the bag. And don’t leave your computer in the security bin!

6. Don’t be the person who causes problems for everyone else. If you’re going to take a long time in the security line, let people go ahead of you. Don’t bring a million bags and coats and other things onto the plane and then refuse to put any of it under the seat in front of you. And when the plane pulls up to the gate, don’t stand in the aisle and block everyone else’s exit while you slowly put on your jacket, check your texts and try to remember where you are.

7. Consider what you wear. I’m not telling you to dress up — in fact, I would strongly caution against wearing a formal gown or military dress uniform on a plane unless you have a very compelling reason to do so — but you should put at least a little thought into what you choose. For instance, I avoid shorts or skirts without tights when flying, because the seats are usually itchy. I try to wear or bring socks, since I don’t love walking around barefoot in the security area and there’s almost always a stream of freezing cold air near the floor of the airplane. If I’m planning to sleep, I’ll make sure I’m wearing something that isn’t going to ride up or be unfomfortable when leaning against the window or curled into a ball.

Other things to consider: Would you be embarassed if you ran into a friend, co-worker or mentor while wearing what you have on? Will you be able to wear that outfit (or whatever you have in your carry-on) that night or the next day, if your bag doesn’t arrive? Is anything you have on offensive or culturally inappropriate for your stop-overs or destination? Does anything you’re wearing dig in or become uncomfortable when you’re sitting?

8. Pack wisely. I know a lot of people try to cram everything into a carry-on bag so they won’t have to check anything, but there’s no way I could get all my toiletries into a plastic bag, so I don’t even try. I’ve also had to buy or borrow clothes away from home enough times that I purposely overpack. If you are going to bring only a carry-on, know that you may have to check it at the gate, which can hold you up if you need to make a quick transfer. And if you’re checking your bag, you may have to pay, and there are size and weight limits — I’ve found that it’s sometimes cheaper and easier to check two bags than pay for one overweight bag. And bags tend to be heavier on the way home, for some reason.

9. Always bring a bathing suit. Always.

Bon Voyage!