You know how a bunch of jarred salsas say they are “chunky” or “super chunky”? I hate those. I like my salsa to be as chunk-less as possible. But I know I’m weird. So I will show you how to make salsa my way, but also tell you how to make it for normal people.

As I’m sure you’re aware, you’re going to need some tomatoes. I used these lovelies from the Eastern Shore. You can use whatever you want. Just remember that the tomatoes don’t have to look pretty, they just need to taste yummy.

Also: If you don’t want your salsa to be watery at ALL, remove all the seeds and tomato guts. If you’re OK with some liquid, you can leave them in. More on that later.

You’ll also need a chili pepper of some kind. This is a jalapeño. You can also use a serrano, but those are hotter. Either way, be very careful when handling the pepper(s). After you’ve touched it, don’t touch your eyes or face or any other sensitive parts without washing your hands VERY thoroughly first. You might even want to wear gloves.

No matter what method you’re using, you’ll need to cut the end off the pepper, halve it and remove the seeds. Unless you are my grandpa and you want your salsa to burn your mouth and make you sweat.

You also need an onion (white is preferable), a clove of garlic and some lime juice. Then, assuming you are not Isabel, you will need:

Cilantro. It’s a very controversial herb, actually. Many people think it tastes soapy and hate it with a burning passion. I happen to like it. This probably has to do with the fact that I grew up in Arizona, where salsa is a major food group. Who knows.

If you do it my way, your salsa will be pink at first. Not that that’s a bad thing. Other ways will look more normal. Also, this makes a lot of salsa. Probably about three cups.

Fresh salsa
3 tomatoes
1 jalapeño (this makes it on the spicy side of mild)
1/2 white onion
1 clove garlic
Juice of 1 lime (or about one tablespoon)
Fresh cilantro, roughly chopped (about a tablespoon of loosely packed leaves)
Salt to taste (at least 1 teaspoon)
Chips, for eating

Chunky way: Remove all the seeds and guts from the tomatoes. Chop the tomato flesh and place in a large bowl. Remove seeds from jalapeño and chop the rest. Finely chop the 1/2 onion and garlic clove. Place all in the bowl with the tomato and stir. Squeeze the lime juice on top, add salt, then add the roughly chopped roughly cilantro leaves. Stir and allow to sit, covered, for about 10 minutes in the refrigerator before serving.

Slightly more liquid-y way: While chopping tomatoes, add the seeds and innards to the bowl. Proceed as directed above.

Semi-chunky way: Put everything except the tomatoes in a food processor and pulse briefly. Add roughly chopped tomatoes and pulse 3-4 times (or until desired texture).

Jen’s way: Put everything in a blender. Blend until combined and chunk-less.